At times you must have had hard life, depending on the kind of hardship and the degree. But one thing, and thank god , is that success, happiness and peace of mind do not depend on the degree of luck you had growing up. Otherwise things would have been bad, you would be doomed. The amazing fact is that some of the people with most difficult backgrounds have indeed, in the end, become the most successful, productive and the most fulfilled.
But why is it that one would spend his adult life complaining about the past. Why would
you keep complaining about your abusive childhood, bad break, what the society has done to you, while others would forget everything past and move on? Could this be because you have decided to move on, or in other words, to grow up?
Grow up? Why would you want to to do that? The answer to this question is simple, it is a forward planner to be free, thrive and flourish today. In other words, it is only when you allow yourself to let go the past – however mildly, hurtful or horrific it was – that you can be free.
Figure out why you have been unsuccessful, unhappy and unfulfilled in the past. You may just have to do the above to succeed. After all is said and done, you still have to make the decision to let go of the past and “grow up”.
The ultimate position
When all is said and done, as Harry Truman puts it, “the buck stops here”. The choice then is yours – decide whether you are going to take the move – take action and get on with your life – or “pass the buck”. In the game of poker, if you don’t feel like dealing (the cards), all you have to do is pass the buck. But mind you, if you pass the buck always, or if all the players “passed the buck”, the cards will never get dealt, right? Then the game will never go on.
So used metaphorically here, “the buck stops here”, means that sooner or later, if you want the game of your life to move on, you will have to deal the cards. You will have to stop the blame game – finding others to blame, no matter how blameworthy they are, because after all it is your life at stake. You are the only one who has the right, and the power to decide what happens to you. It is up to you to decide whether or not to allow bitterness or resentment to cause you to waste one more moment of your precious life because of “what happened to you in the past”.
Now the buck stops here. But you have to do something about your past history, about the pain in your life. The simple answer is to look at it and acknowledge it. Identify the source of your pain. Locate and name your “enemies” (those who have wronged you). Acknowledge the “bad luck” that befell you when you didn’t have the chance to defend yourself. However, after that, take responsibility and move on so that you can have the wonderful, fulfilling life that you are intended to have with the time you have left. And finally, once and for all you will start seeing light at the end of the channel. But in order for this to happen, you must take certain steps:
The first step is to forgive – forgive who and why?
First the word “forgive”means to give up resentment of (according to the dictionary), or “to give up desire to punish; stop being angry with”.
So if you forgive, all you are doing is to give up your resentment, anger, and desire to punish.
Forgive those who have wronged you. But you must have a clear idea of who they are. Think about your life and identify those who you feel were responsible for causing you the psychological problems or other problems you have now. It could be your parents, sibling or other relatives, family friends or even strangers. Surprisingly it could even be your own self, you may have done something in the past that you simply cannot find a way to forgive yourself for.
All you are doing is let go the resentment, anger, and the desire for revenge that, in fact, cannot change the past or help in the future.
You will have done yourself a great favor by forgiving, then other things follow,read more…