Create your own standard and live up to it
Life is a long journey, for years, you have travelled through the life and now you are approaching a different phase, you ask several questions to enable you to fully express yourself, in fact your knowing yourself will help you discover what lies ahead of you. The key discovery lies in your willingness to enter fully into experiences that can be positive forces to enhance the shaping of your vision – of yourself.
To know and to appreciate the kind of person that you are will be both an invitation and challenge. It is an invitation for you to look deeply into yourself, to learn how gifted you are. It is a challenge to make a personal decision to enhance those gifts and do something about your shortcomings. It is when you accept this invitation and challenge that you allow, you expand your consciousness of your being. Only then can you say, ” I love and appreciate the person that I am.” Can you say this to youself?
Our self image is formed by the way we measure up – not the way we really measure up, because there is no actual ” standard of perfection ” out there that we must achieve, but the way we measure ourselves against others. This self measuring against others is often fuelled by parents, teachers, relatives, and acquaintances in our early childhood years. In many cases it is a brother or sister who is put up to us as the ideal. ” John is so responsible – he takes after his father. I wonder where you got your genes?” or “Jim learned to read so quickly. What’s wrong with you?”
It is small wonder that we judge ourselves against others, behaving as if there exists – somewhere out there – “the perfect person .” We constantly and erroneously ask ourselves, “Do I measure up?” Measure up to what? Measure up whom? The answer is clear: to the “ideals” of the ones we love and admire – the parental figures.
Now you can challenge the negative image of yourself that you developed as you were growing up. You can realize that the reason you feel you are stupid, or lazy, or slow is due to words that were spoken to you when you couldn’t argue back. You can realise that as a child, you were probably being asked to measure up to impossible standards half the time, and to other people’s standards the rest of the time.
Some of us fought this practice. “I don’t want to be like everybody else,” we cried. And we became rebels. But why should you have to become a rebel just to be yourself? Now that you understand what has happened, you can create your own standard for yourself, and you don’t have to feel like a rebel because you do it. You can joyfully and peacefully and, in fact with sheer unthreatened calm, work on being yourself. Now that you are an adult, no one is stopping you any more. Finally no one is stopping you from finding out what you should be. No one is preventing you from creating your own standard and living up to that standard alone.
Once you have started living to your own standard, your self-esteem will increase to levels you have never before enjoyed. People will begin to recognise and validate your true “self,” and your self-esteem will grow even further. Why? Because you will realise that your worth is not dependent upon what others think, and that, ironically, people seem to respect and approve of you when you dare to be yourself. This knowledge will cause you to be less afraid to take chances, and act upon your own hunches and intuitions. In fact in time, as you continue to take chances and to live up to your own standard, you will become as bold as a lion!